Instant Messaging is Meant for Autistic People

Or.. alternatively, it creates them.

So there I am, opening up the latest and greatest tax information from 2006, along with the bills for my new front door... and as I log on.. there's a funny little ping..Oh! Russ has logged on to Yahoo Messenger!

Oh my! How exciting! So I begin to type.. He writes a few 3 or 4 word sentences, as all instant messages have to be.. Things like- Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Oh good. how are you? How was your day. I think he even prefaced one of those with I'm tired, how are you? Which in instant message land, is about all you get for "mood alert." I blithely ignore that... and begin typing.. two liners about my day.. how it included the $400. starter on the 4Runner, how Liss and I went to dinner at Uno's. How I took the bus from the Fanny Allen to downtown, and wasn't that wierd, talking to the volunteer at the bus stop. Who is disabled and therefore gets to ride for free. And I have to pay "a dollar twenty five." Has anyone heard the Adam Sandler jokes about Tollbooth Willie? If not, you should. .. So anyway.. A buck and a quarter is expensive I think. .. When I used to ride the bus in high school it was fifty cents... so I'm old now.. talking about bus fares.. Geez.

Okay, back to IM.. (Also annoying how it's shortened to "IM" or "I Am" or "I Emming" People dont necessarily know what you are talking about with that) So I then change the background to "doodling." Yes, this means you can use your cursor to draw pictures for each other. Cute, huh? Well I begin to draw hearts.. and then he draws some lips for a kiss.. and I draw some other stuff.. And the magic is gone.. The magic formerly known as " I am talking to my spouse 6000 miles away and Aren't I Happy" then turns to "No Response for about a Minute and I've Realized Too Late that I Was Inappropriate." I have officially read the mood wrong.

A quick glance at my watch and I realize it's 3:45 in the morning.. and the pain of sitting in steel armored vehicles has settled in his bones.. he's probably starving.. and sleep deprived... and of course, I am too late in realizing the cumulative effects all these things have... Having been there and having been taken care of so well by him, I utilize the strategies he taught me: Just say sweet things that are soothing... tuck him into bed, reassure him that the world is still an okay place and I am here... still thinking good thoughts, despite the usual wierdness of the messages we've just sent. The short I love you, good night is a relief to us both. It is finally over.

So who gets satisfaction out of this technology? I think it must be people that are insensitive to moods, and frankly don't care about them. TheAutistic People of Our World. And then what becomes of people who Eye Em all the time? Do they become immune to the realities of subtlety and changes of heart mid IM? Does Autism set in? Can it be an acquired trait? Is it a necessary component of successful communication with Yahoo Messenger?

I think so. I don't see how it could be fun unless you just don't care about those things. Or maybe I am just working from a reality where I don't get to see him or watch him, ever in the past six months, and I need all the cues I can get.. IM takes them all away.. It's hard enough on the phone with tone of voice and words.

We set a rule a few weeks ago that if we perchance find ourselves on said form of communication, there would be a 10 minute rule. No more time spent, as the longer you spend on the field on the screen, the statistical chance of impaired and erroneous mood reading goes up. As doctors like to say, the enemy of good is perfect... so that is true here too. We stop while we are ahead. The standard background of falling hearts, pink and romantic is the old standby.

(I realize now I shouldn't have ventured into new and different means of communication- joint doodling across the miles. The variables are too many. Falling hearts. None other. It's a soothing thing.)

So no big meltdown here tonight on the YM (Yahoo Messenger) but my thoughts are confirmed yet again.. It might be a medium for people who have more constant contact.. but not for us right now...

Well, I must get to beddie bye now.. Have a nice day yourself!